Joe and I aren't married, even though we have been together for well over 10 years. We've often had friends question why we've never taken the next step, but just recently we seem to have been hounded by even total strangers about why we don't formalise the arrangement.

Anyone else feel the pressure to conform? What's wrong with the old saying "if it ain't broke, don't fix it"?

My mother is the only one who gives me grief over it, but thankfully she was born and raised here in Australia so unlike some mates, I've never had the pressure of parents wanting to ship out a nice Italian virgin with the view to her becoming the newest addition to the family. If it's something you both feel is important yeah sure, but I'd be just as happy in a commited relationship, minus the little bit of paper.

Being Catholic and Italian, was always expected of us. My mother had an absolute fit when my son was born out of wedlock, but she's just had to accept that its my life and as an adult I do what is right for me. Got no desire to get married. If the love of my life arrived on my doorstep tomorrow I'd happily commit and be a faithful schmuck but I'm not taking a trip down the aisle any time soon.

Been engaged, never married. Divorce rates are so high and both events are such a costly practice not sure why people still want to do it. (unless its for religious reasons). Makes more sense to me to take the mega bucks it would cost you to get married and use it on a mortgage or something. Who really needs all the fancy trimmings if you are simply declaring publically that you want to spend your life with that person.

It's not something that I feel is a necessity to make a relationship complete. If she was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and it was important to her though, then yeah I'd take the plunge. But it would be a decision we decided together and not the influences of friends or family.

I'll marry the day I find the one I feel I will live the rest of my life with and that I truelly believe that we can make each other happy.......... my current gf through 15 years and the mother of a son and daughter of mine is definately not the one........... regarding pressure. nah................. atheists all of us

Been married briefly once before and although I know logically that marriage didn't kill the relationship I do admit I am gunshy about remarrying again as things didn't start to go wrong for us until we had that silly little bit of paper. Actually things started to go wrong when we started planning the wedding and found ourselves bickering about everything from the number of guests to the colour of the invites. We should have seen the red flags and stopped then and just gone back to enjoying each others company.

Have to say to Viking though, after 15 years with the one woman isn't that marriage in every essence apart from the actual ceremony? And if you've given 15 years to a relationship that isn't right at what point do you become selfish and leave? Can't be doing either of you any good.

And the nosy bitch of the day award goes to SIM

I did feel pressured around the age of 25, mainly because that's when the majority of my female friends decided it was time to fornicate legally in the eyes of their parents, and spent the better part of 18 months all trying to outdo each other seeing who could have the most lavish wedding. Never been big on my list of priorities although I was engaged for a long time. A marriage license isn't going to stop someone cheating or lying or staying with you until death you do part after all, so not being deeply religious I've never seen the point. The only thing I do know for certain is that if I ever did decide to take the plunge, I'd be grabbing a couple of witnesses and standing barefoot on a beach somewhere, or sneaking off and doing it on the quiet and coming back and announcing it to everyone. Don't need the fancy dress or the expensive flowers or the grandiose reception. If you are truly in love with the person, then surely pledging to work together in this thing called life is the only essential that you need.

I'd like to have a partner that I can see myself growing old with but don't need all the pomp and ceremony to make it 'legal'.

To some extent. Doesn't mean I have any intention of settling just to appease the family.

Seen too many mates suffer through divorce to feel the need to go down that path myself. Live with someone yes, but I'd probably balk at making it official.